Evening rambling & self love

So recently I’ve reached a new understanding of love for myself. To love my body and what its capable of doing; and love of the soul I’m growing up to be, and experience.

When I am connected to my soul on a higher spiritual level, I am more fully myself.
Church, and my walk with God are reminders of how far I’ve come and where I want to go. I think back to different parts of my life and I am reminded of how much I’ve grown. I’ve been reckless with my body & spirit.

When I was young and left home, my soul had been shattered in several pieces and was resting all over the east coast.

I moved, ran and changed directions more times than I can count, to keep up the speed of my rapid distancing from anything I had come from. Part of me felt free on the run. No responsibilities except to keep myself safe.

Part of me hated myself for running from my family and my life, for running from my home and those who seemed to need me. From all conceivable angles I had made severe mistakes that would have me end up living broke and homeless or worse; dead in a ditch somewhere in in NY.

There are many individual things that contributed to the soul that sits inside the body I occupy. One that is of upmost importance has got to be my relationship to God and the blessing of ease in understanding in spiritual matters.

Now, more so than ever before, the unfolding of human history is making itself known to me daily. I embarked several months ago on a quest to read the bible this year in chronological order. If I claim to be a Christ follower, what reason do I have for not understanding the history and text.

Surprisingly it’s not a difficult read, and when read in succession- not only makes a lot of sense, but is historically accurate.

My goal is not to convince you to become me, or a Christian. The point is to ramble towards a weird explanation of my journey.

Self love; also a journey. Learning to do what’s best for yourself – I think that’s the point point. Looking at yourself in another light, as if you were responsible for the health and well being of you.

It sounds strange to word it this way, but treating yourself as a parent treats a child. Self disciple, love and understanding.

Why is it so hard to be kind to ourselves?

Maybe we can choose to be more kind and more gentle with ourselves.  Maybe when we are kind to ourselves, it would be natural for us to grow accustomed to being kind to those around us.

Maybe our community could benefit from a little more kindness, love and compassion.


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